Thursday 27 December 2012

Domestic Discipline vs Vanilla

I thought i would say a few words on the differences i have found between DD and leading a Vanilla life. I have lived both. Sometimes having given up finding the partner that i wanted regarding a DD relationship i have gone back to a vanilla life now and then, kidding myself that I could life without DD.

Those of us into this lifestyle know that it can only be ignored for so long. That want and need NEVER goes away. We are the way we are and we need what we need. It is always there, even if it is at the back of our minds but we know we are not truly happy without it.

Being in a vanilla relationship is fine for a while but there is always something missing for me. There is often no or little structure, there is normally a power struggle and a lot of the time it is the woman who has the control and not the man. Don't get me wrong i am a strong willed woman but i know what i like and what makes me happy.

Also in a vanilla relationship there is sometimes little communication, people don't communicate as much as i have found in DD relationships and never or rarely find the time to talk to each other to sort out the little niggles that can often build into bigger things that can split a couple up. This doesn't tend to happen in a DD relationship as there is always a high level of communication.

I like to know where i stand and i like to be with a real man who know how to take control without being over the top or nasty, i could never again see myself who couldn't make a decision or who wasn't strong enough to be in a male led relationship. It does take a certain kind of man, i have been in the past with those who say they want and can do DD but really havn't got a clue!

Anyway, this is just how things work for me and this is my opinion and my thoughts. I am lucky now that i am with someone who understands DD totally!!

Princess x

13 comments:

  1. I live a 'vanilla' life but it's nothing like you describe. Have you ever thought that maybe you simply don't know how to have a relationship without dd?
    My husband and I communicate regularly. When we married we agreed to never go to bed angry. So, at times, the only way to avoid that, is to communicate like crazy. He is the head of our house, and I like it that way. However we are both adults, and he would never 'punish' me.
    We have a close relationship, people always think we're newly weds (we've been married 8 years), and we are happy. Vanilla is fine, if you know how to do it. Dd is fine for you, but don't act like vanilla is less than...it's not.

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  2. There is nothing wrong with vanilla at all, i was just explaining and describing how i have found relationships and explaining what works best for me.

    Princess x

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    1. Sorry - I've been up on the soap box a lot today. I don't like when someone makes it sound like your post was uppity, "Vanilla sucks, I am better" when in reality her response was very condescending. "MY husband would NEVER punish me." Well good for you.

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    2. No apology needed Addy, gets me wound up too! If Anonymous is happy in vanilla why is she looking at a DD blog!!

      Princess x

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  3. There is nothing wrong with being vanilla though I have seen over the years that many of my completely vanilla friends and family have been cheated on, have been divorced, have been abused, ect. Does this mean that I think all vanilla marriages are doomed? No, not exactly but I do belief that the communication that is mandatory in an alternate relationship choice is not always present in a vanilla one. That being said, if you are happy with your marriage and you know that it is the best that it can be, then it doesn't really matter what flavor you like.

    For me? I need physical consequences until I can get through some of the tough things that I have dealt in my life. For me? I could never be a vanilla girl again. No thanks, I did that for my first 19 years of life and was miserable the whole time. My hubby opened my eyes to what else is out there and we've been together for over a decade.

    I did not get the feeling that this post noted that vanilla was a bad choice it was just an observation. If you go back and re-read you will see that the blogger clearly states what worked for her and what she has found.

    Again, if you are happy that is all that matters but there was no 'uppity' tone in this blog.

    ~Addy

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  4. Thank you for your support Addy! Indeed I have re read my own post and it is indeed my opinion, Anonymous is entitled to her opinion too. As you say if you are happy in your relationship then there is no problem, this is a Domestic Discipline blog and I welcome comments from anyone. That said it is my blog and my opinion, which we are all entitled to and I have lived both lifestyles so I can see things from every point of view, No uppity tone just my view. Having been into it for over 20 years i consider that i know what i am talking about!

    Princess x

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    1. Addy i have joined your site, appreciate if you could do the same!!!

      Princess x

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    2. I did follow, will add you. :)
      Yes, of course opinions are all over the net! Very lovely blog you have here. Sometimes I hear from random people that allowing a man to spank a woman equates to all sorts of bad things that those in this community would never allow or support. *sigh* I just want everyone to be happy in the path that he or she chooses no matter what flavor!

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    3. Exactly! I would never have a go at a vanilla person! I think some people are jealous that we have found what we wanted and are happy! Thank you for joining and thank you for your support and kind words about the blog, yours too is great i have read it a few times now,

      Princess x

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  5. Hhhmmmmm we both know that I spent years in vanilla relationships until you introduced me to DD. I don't think I could go back now that I have experienced the Domestic Discipline lifestyle. Plus you would turn into a proper bratty-like-princess if we weren't to live this lifestyle. It works for us and those that wish not to live this life should accept us for who we are and how we wish to live. xxx

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  6. Thank you Sir! Love you loads!

    Princess x

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  7. Not crabby at all just found the comment rude. I am very happy with everything in my life!!

    Princess

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