Thursday, 31 January 2013

Vanilla to HoH by SirDD

I thought I would add a blog about the difficulties of understanding the Domestic Discipline lifestyle having always been vanilla in the past.

When I first met Princess she described to me about what she was looking for in a man and the things she 'needed' to be happy in a relationship.

I had no preconceptions about DD as I'd never heard of it, but I researched, I read and I got to understand what was required by reading other HoH's blogs. A lot of my thanks go to Clint from LDD, who's site is a wealth of knowledge for those coming into the lifestyle, and to my beautiful Princess who has always been helpful, caring, understanding and patient.

Although I have come from a very disciplined background, there are a lot of differences. In the forces discipline is upheld by stature, body language and a loud voice, as well as understanding that people can mess up occasionally.
Domestic Discipline added a new side to discipline as I knew it. I had to learn through trial and error how to spank, how to spank Princess, because everyone is different, even through trial and error that my hand is the most effective implement for her, also how to lecture and how to be consistent (this seems to be the biggest issue and complaint about HoH's). All of this was completely new to me, and scary at first.

Even now after we have been together for quite a while and planning our wedding, things don't always go right. Recently we had problems due to my understanding of DD and not giving Princess what she needed.
This was due to 'maintenance spankings'. I had no idea of the importance of them for Princess, for me they didn't seem important and I saw them as me punishing Princess when she didn't require punishment.
As Princess has been so well behaved since before Christmas, there had been no discipline, as she hadn't required it. I thought that she was going through a good phase, and to be honest, so did she.

But due to this inactivity, Princess started to become argumentative and sometimes obstinate, and me due to my vanilla past just saw this as a phase, little did I know that she was feeling left out, sometimes unloved and unhappy because she hadn't been getting what she needed, discipline, despite her mostly good behaviour.

We have redressed this now, I have made a completely set of new rules, written completely by me, to sort out the problems that crept in. Princess also had her first maintenance spanking last night, the first time she has been spanked since late last year and although she has a sore bum, she is now feeling loved and happy.

Things are back on track, as she stated in her last blog, but it has reminded me that I need to keep on top of things and need to remind her with love, compassion and DD that I am the HoH, her HoH and that I love her completely.


1 comment:

  1. :) Very sweet! Maintenance seems to be pretty helpful to those involved in DD. Were D/s so we dont do this, but I get it. Sounds like you guys are back on track!